Skin-to-skin contact with the infected area - genital, anal, or oral contact - and the driver is asymptomatic shedding: the CDC notes the virus spreads even when no sore is visible, so most transmissions come from people who do not know they have it.
Most infections are silent or mild enough to be mistaken for irritation. Toilet seats and towels are not routes - the virus survives poorly off skin. What works: no contact during outbreaks, daily suppressive antivirals, condoms (partial protection - shedding can occur outside the covered area), and honest disclosure.
What to do
Common questions
How is genital herpes transmitted?
Genital herpes spreads by skin-to-skin contact with the infected area - genital, anal, or oral contact, including oral sex (HSV-1 from cold sores is a rising share of genital infections) - and the feature that drives its spread is asymptomatic shedding: the CDC notes the virus can be released from skin and passed to a partner even when no sore or symptom is visible, which is why most transmissions come from people who do not know they have it. Most people with genital herpes have no symptoms or mild ones mistaken for ingrown hairs or irritation. What does not spread it: toilet seats, towels, and shared bedding - the virus survives poorly off skin. Risk reduction that actually works: no sexual contact during outbreaks (the highest-risk window), daily suppressive antiviral therapy which reduces both outbreaks and transmission, condoms which lower but do not eliminate risk (shedding skin can sit outside the covered area), and honest disclosure - couples where one partner is positive and managed often stay transmission-free for years. Pymander, a free AI doctor available 24/7 by text, can help with the disclosure conversation too.