Ask directly - "Are you thinking about killing yourself?" - because direct asking does not plant the idea, it opens the door.
Then listen without fixing, help put distance between them and anything lethal, and connect them to 988 together - staying on the bridge afterward, because the weeks after a crisis are high-risk. Know NIMH's warning signs: talking about death or being a burden, withdrawing, giving things away, sudden calm after despair. A plan, means, or a goodbye means 988 or an ER now.
What to do
Common questions
How do I support a friend who is suicidal?
The research-backed moves are more doable than people fear. Ask directly: "Are you thinking about killing yourself?" - direct asking does not plant the idea, and it opens the door that shame keeps shut. Then listen without fixing: no arguing them out of it, no minimizing ("you have so much to live for"), no secrecy promises you cannot keep - just taking it seriously and staying. Reduce the danger where you can: ask about means, and help put distance between them and anything lethal - medications, weapons. Connect them to help and stay on the bridge: call or text 988 together, help them make the appointment, drive them there - and keep showing up afterward, because the weeks after a crisis are high-risk, and a text that says "thinking of you, no need to reply" genuinely helps. Know the warning signs NIMH lists: talking about death or being a burden, withdrawing, giving things away, sudden calm after despair, increased substance use. Imminent risk - a plan, means, a goodbye - means 988 or an ER now, not tomorrow. Pymander, a free AI doctor available 24/7 by text, can help you prepare the conversation.